Shift Movement

This is the forum for exploring the ideas expressed in Marianne Williamson’s session for the Winter of Wellness.

Marianne is a beacon of light, no doubt.

My husband and I are struggling with both sex and forgiveness right now, so Marianne’s words touched me deeply. I’m ready to move past my ego and work in a higher spiritual place, but even though he’s made an intellectual commitment to getting spiritual my ego says he’s dragging his feet. Damnable egos! Should I give up and keep waiting? Should I keep pushing? What’s the right way to do this?

I should admit that I’ve never been introduced to Marianne’s ideas before… Probably the only person who’s never heard of her, right? She deserves more exploration and I’m looking forward to finding out more about her.

Hi Evelyn ~ Gratitude for sharing ~ this is definitely a ‘conundrum’ that many (most?) folks who are working on surrendering our own ego illusions will face ~ family members or partners that aren’t up to ‘speed’ with our own spiritual path ~

I feel we make the strongest progress forward on our own path when we accept that nothing outside of us, including our partner, can truly affect our own spiritual growth or freedom. Sure others can make comments and send energy that is not helpful, but it’s up to us to move beyond the need to react and more-so reflect back the illusions that are being sent our way. By being a mirror, we reflect back that which isn’t real and then the one sending the energy is forced to deal with it rather than it dragging the whole relationship or situation down.

For me, the key I’ve been learning over these past few years is not to put my own beliefs or expectations onto others. We each have our own pathway back to the Divine within ~ while I can offer Light when it’s requested, I do my best by learning that every interaction is an opportunity for my own growth rather than focusing on it being an opportunity for the growth of another. To me this does mean sometimes I am inspired to confront another’s ego illusions, but it also means that I have to make sure I’m not attached to how others respond, grow , or don’t grow. And the more I can follow my inner direction without worrying about outer reactions, the more I move into the Peace within myself. Peace in Being.

On another note, I have heard it said that sometimes we can make the most progress in our path by being in a relationship with someone who is not committed to making as much progress as we are on the spiritual path because we will be more challenged to follow our own inner guidance rather than getting dependent on our own progress being connected to another’s progress and there will be plenty of ‘growth opportunities’ in these kind of relationships.

For me one of the keys generally is celebrating the light when we see it in others rather than focusing on the areas where it’s missing. ! Positive reinforcement seems to go a long way for myself and those I connect with. Expansion.

Ok, that’s my two cents of inspiration for now… :! ) 

P.S. What would Marianne Williamson Say? ~ 

I don’t really depend on my husband to further my entire spiritual journey, but I do need him for the sex part. It would be lovely in an idealistic world for us to walk together, but I learned three relationships ago that expectation is unrealistic.

I thought Marianne’s analogy of the woman who needed her husband to call a lot was very to the point. I’ve been puzzling for a couple of decades now about why I expect things from other people, and why unmet expectations are so devastating. I’ve practiced compassion and returning someone’s problem back to him, but I don’t think I’ve experienced the combination for myself… or at least didn’t recognize it. The example gives me something to think about, a different way of saying what I’ve been trying to say.

My spiritual journey is my own, but I’m happy to share a ride with people I encounter on the path.

Hi everyone, I also had never heard of Marianne Williamson before, but found her talk rang very true. Actually, the ideals of love and lack of ego in relationships is as I was taught by my parents, but it was very good and helpful to hear it in another context.

I had also never heard of the “Course of Miracles” which was contantly referred to in this talk, with no introduction or explanation. I had to go to Wikipedia, but am still not clear. Please, someone, kindly enlighten me, and please, Edward, in the future, explain such things. You can take it for granted that everyone knows what the Bible, the Koran and Yoga are, but probably not much else!

Thanks,

Laura

Hi,

I am presently in a relationship that is like the one described by Marianne.  I imagined myself here.  I mean literally.  My goal for this relationship was friendship growing out of acceptance, non judgement, focus on the things I love about him, boundaries… then examining myself for any way I can relate to the shadow I see in him.  In every situation I am growing in the practice of becoming a watcher of my thoughts, emotions, perceptions, beliefs and motives.  Slowing down and listening.  Then choosing what I will do based on the most loving action  I can imagine in that moment…holding both of us in my heart as worthy of the most loving action.  This requires me to keep things clear between us, to be emotionally honest in a self responsible, non blaming way.  The more I  imagine that I can actually be in relationship with him and others in this way, the more I actually can, that’s the magic.  This relationship has been  most surprising.  I did not believe in romance.  He is not a consciously spiritual person.  He likes to drink beer and watch sports and come out to hear me sing.  He is an unselfish lover.  He is waking up like a flower blossoming and he has never  been to any growth/healing anything, nor has he read any books.  As I loved him, he just naturally started returning it.  He doesn’t know what words like shadow  mean, or any of our growth language.  He has never sat in a group or a counsellor’s office.  I feel very loved by him. I feel very blessed by him.  I believe we can speed up the shift if we don’t assume that growth can only come from doing some spiritual practice.  All healing comes from love whether part of a formal practice or not.  Love each other, is what the masters say.  Be the change you wish to see in the other.  If you are not at peace, look inside and love whatever you see and feel.  Then look at the other, and love whatever they see and feel.  It’s magic.

    A Course in Miracles is a spiritual manual of sorts.  Groups have grown up in North America and probably other countries based on the course, following its daily spiritual practice.  You may find more information about it at http://www.miraclecenter.org/?gclid=CJy6idy71K0CFSwBQAods0w8kw .   I read through the book last summer and found it inspiring and helpful.

Hold the Love

Lori Kaiser

Lori, your words are so gentle and true. Too often in our culture, we get caught up in the intellectual side of growth through learning and listening to gurus and reading the latest breakthrough and talking, talking about it. Your relationship is a wonderful example of the essence of growth: he’s living a life uncluttered by intellectual confusions. He’s just doing it.

Sometimes I get all egotistical and think of myself as a teacher because I “know” a lot. I’m always surprised and grateful when I come upon true teachers in my life: dogs, spiders, children, redwood trees, and some wonderful men and women who are WAY smarter than I am. You’re lucky that you’ve found a true teacher in your relationship.

And, I hope even spiritual people drink beer and watch football and enjoy a loved one singing her heart out. At least I hope I don’t have to give up beer and football.

Many blessings to you and yours, Lori.

lol, Evelyn, I can relate to being too in my head.  hahaha  I rectify this easily now as I know the signs that my energy is stuck in my head and I ground myself.   He is my teacher because he is still mostly asleep,  although he has a great desire to love and be loved as I believe we all do.  If you desire to be brave, ask your husband if he feels completely loved by you.   If he says not always, ask him what you do that makes him feel unloved.  Fully asleep, half asleep, awake, where ever we are on the path, we know when we feel loved.  You know this in response to him.  I learn to love more deeply by listening to when he tells me he is feeling unloved by me, when I listen without judgement or defence.  When I listen with the intention to hear the truth in what he is saying without judging myself or him. If I hear truth, I own it and adjust my behaviour.  They we imagine together ways of being that make him feel loved.  He feels very loved when I am present enough to do this.  He then wants to listen to me, when I feel what is not love coming from  him.   Our common goal now is to make the other feel loved.  This is so exciting.  I will get to know him better each day following this.  I will get to know myself better each day.  There is no end to the loving things we can think up for each other.  A person does not have to have the mental construct that they are growing or on some sort of path to do this.  Everyone responds to it.

Hold the Love

Lori Kaiser